It was over before it ever really got started. My 2nd beta did not double. It went down to 36.2 on 12/31. I kind of thought so in my heart. My symptoms just did not intensify, they felt like they were fading. Yesterday, 1/5, the level had gone up to 39, which scares me because of the chance of e/p or needing to have another D&C. It hurts really bad, but not like our first or losing my twins. But it is incredible how much you fall in love because of two pink lines. Those pictures below hurt my heart. On 12/21, after finding out, I picked up those two test and threw them as hard as I could. I am really, really angry right now. Is my happiness (which has been limited to two weeks) now going to be limited to two days? I am really scared. Why us? Why does this keep happening to us? I told my RE nurse that at 25, with all that has happened, I feel like a freak of nature. I am so disappointed. In myself. In the circumstances. How in the world will the bitterness ever go away? I will have my blood redrawn on Monday. Then I will see my RE in a few weeks. I have to have a repeat sonohysterogram. It scares me because it feels like we are running out of tests. I just want an answer. And a solution.
After countless shots, ultrasounds, doctor appointments, hours spent driving, tears and worry, WHY are babies taken from those who go through so much to get them?
Only few in stock
7 years ago
1 comment:
I'm so sorry. I don't think there is really anything else I can say. I am praying for you. This never gets any easier does it? Hang in there Honey.
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