I love my Husband

We had a very nice Valentines Day weekend. I am blessed to have a man who loves me so much. I don't know if I could have survived all this if I had been married to a lesser man. He is so incredibly positive and hopeful. And he loves me. Friday did not get off to a great start, but it was my fault. I can be quite crazy at times & I pretty much ruined the surprise he had for me because I wanted to know when he was going to be home & why he was late. He had gone to the store & got me flowers, a card & strawberries & chocolate. Yea, I felt like a total dirt bag. Everything turned out great though. Just spent time together. I absolutely love watching movie & cuddling together. For Valentines night, we cooked shrimp, broccoli alfredo for ourselves and my parents. DH wouldn't let me clean at all this weekend, he wanted us to relax and have a good time. I was so sad to see the weekend end. I always get so sad when it's time for Monday. The weekends go by so fast.

I am ready to start cycling again. Very ready. I must try and not be nervous & keep the stress down this time around. I constantly worry about what kind of impact all the stress I am under has. I have also decided (and I am hoping I stick with this) that I am not going to test till 14 or 15dpo (days past ovulation). Maybe that will take some of the worry out. However, if Doc does not let me start the Lovenox (blood thinner) sooner (I want to start it right after ovulation) than I probably won't wait. In that event, the sooner I test the sonner I can start the lovenox. I want to try and be a better, nicer, less bitter, less jealous person. Sometimes I really can be incredibly mean & I think that I need to stop. I want to stop. I also want to try and eliminate cursing from my vocabulary. I want God to know that I can be a good person and therefore a good mom, so he can give us our baby and I'll take care of him/her/them & love them with my whole heart and try and instill in them good character. I have developed so many negative ways/attributes since all this loss started. Maybe God is telling us we need to clean up our lives.