Conflicting Emotions

I am having all sorts of emotions today. My coworker is retiring and I am going to miss her terribly. I should get her job, I have every right to it and am perfectly capable of doing a great job in the position. But I won't get it. All because some stupid, anti-family/kid, woman's lib old hag does not like me. I don't even care anymore. I am tired of worrying about it. As long as nothing interferes with our Dr. appointments and treatments, I don't care.

On a positive note, I am so excited because my SHG is scheduled for Tuesday, Oct. 28. One week from today! Then hopefully it won't be long and we can start Follistim again! I can't wait. Hopefully we will be pregnant for Christmas and 2009 will be the best year ever.

A very sweet, caring person on my board has had another loss. She has always been so supportive and I feel so sad for her. They went for an ultra sound yesterday and the baby had not grown and had no heartbeat. I pray that she gets the approval she needs to start testing for a cause. It is so cruel and beyond unfair that those of us who struggle and work so hard to finally get pregnant have it ripped away. It makes me so angry.

I am tired and bored and I want to go home. And stuff on my desk is none of anyone's business.