Boredom.....

The worst part of boredom? It leaves you to your thoughts. I despise being bored. My mom used to tell people that as a child, I could find a way to occupy myself. Stick me in a room with nothing to do and I would inevitably entertain myself somehow. Perhaps it's a product of being like an only child. And by like I mean that for someone that is 15, 19 and 20 years younger than her siblings, you might as well be an only child. Yes, I was an ooops. Or rather how I like to consider it...god decided they didn't get it quite right in their primes, so he threw a curveball (me) at them.

I guess this requires a little introduction. I am 25. My sisters are almost 45, almost 44 and my brother is 40. My parents have been married for (almost) 46 years. Yea mom didn't have any fertility problems. Although she swears the 4 times she got pregnant are the only 4 times she ovulated in her life. So I am an only child with 3 biological siblings.

Sometimes I think it would be less boring in a room with 4 walls than at work because it often seems that I exhaust all the possible things to do on the internet. Thus one of the reasons for this blog. That and I need some kind of sounding board for my bitter, crazy and often irrational infertility banter.

So, alone in my thoughts is where I usually find myself. We had dinner with friends lastnight. Fertile friends. Parents of an an awesome two year old and a precious 5 1/2 month old (over who I was insanely bitter about while he was in utero). I can never get enough of holding a baby. I am meant to be a mom. I just know it. So while I enjoyed being around them, after we went home, left yet again to my thoughts, I was sad. Sad for what should be. But it is another Friday and I have a lot to look forward to and be excited about. We are another week closer to maybe finding an answer. Another week closer to starting treatments up again.