I was sad today

Today I woke up and started thinking. And then I got sad and started to cry. I cry for the what might have beens and the what should be. I cry because every little thing that bothers me or that makes me worry is magnified because of this huge whole in my heart. Sometimes I get so tired of thinking about the fact that we should have our nursery done or that I should be pretty huge by now (huge in that beautiful, long-awaited for way). It does no good for me to think about any of it but I can't help myself. So to combat that I need to remind myself about everything that is beautiful and good:
1)--My husband. He's my life line. My one and only life preserver in a dark sea of despair.
2)--My home. We are so blessed to have a beautiful home to call our own.
3) --Our family. With all their strengths and their faults, they love us too.
4)--Our friends. A great support system. I learn a lot because of them. I may not understand it, but God has put these wonderful pregnant ladies in my life for a reason. I like to think of it as a way for me to learn how to overcome jealousy and bitterness and realize that my need to care for them is much larger than the green eyed monster that contantly looms over me.
5)--We are blessed because we have the resources to persue these treatments and we have the Dr. who was blessed with the knowledge to help us.

There is a lot more that I am grateful for and blessed to have. It is time for my life preserver and I to go to bed.