Well, it's been a while, & no, I'm still not pregnant.

A long while actually. To be perfectly honest, there has been nothing to write about lately. Scratch that. There has, but nothing good, and there is enough bad, sad, heartbreaking things to read on here. To update from my last post, that cycle failed. Big Fat Freakin Negative. I actually got AF the day before I was going to test. Like 3 days early. I was incredibly dissapointed, but not surprised it turned out that way. I was just under way too much emotional stress. BUT I am trying on a new me. I have made the decision to be a happier, nicer, more positive person. And because of this, I am not going to write about the hell that I have been living in for the last few months. A new kind of hell, not the horrid, disgusting place of Infertility & pregnancy loss, but one just as dark. And even more scary.

So, what has transpired in the recent past is going to stay where it belongs. In the past; because I am excited again. Any guesses why? (Not a hard conclusion to come to). We are fixing to cycle again! Lastnight I took my third prometrium to bring on AF, so cd 1 should fall around May 16 or May 17 (happy birthday to me!!--in a very good way!). I am quite nervous but still excited. We will be starting the lovenox 3 days past the trigger shot again. Of course, my paranoid self is worried that starting the lovenox sooner last time caused it to fail. But I can't worry like this, right?

I hope this cycle brings us our sweet, precious, living miracle. I think it will bring DH and I close together again. Give us a new reason to be excited. The answer to our prayers.